Raising a Solar System: A parenting guide (II)

More tips for a happy family life from our star expert, Sol.

To prevent conflict, the orbits of most Sol's children are nearly in the same plane. Credit: ESO

In our last post, we talked about the importance of maintaining order in your system. Sol, our expert, also shared his tricks to keep an eye on his numerous offspring without becoming a white dwarf in the attempt. Today, we will see some tips to deal with conflict among family members and raise planets and minor bodies that are sensible, responsible and happy.

Tip #4: Make clear that the same rules apply to all

Planets, it has been said, can be arrogant and bossy sometimes. This may yield to frequent arguments about privileges with other siblings (especially dwarf planets), Sol recommends to make it plain that nobody is going to get a special treatment. "From the very first moment, I explained to my children that all of them had to follow the same rules, regardless of size or shape. For example, if they wanted to move around me, they had to do it in an elliptical orbit and nothing else; they could choose how flattened or round the path could be, within some constraints, but that was all. It is not just a matter of equity, but also of security."

He also insists on having nearly all his offspring orbiting in the same plane. "This prevents conflict", he argues, "because, this way, the orbits have less chances to cross each other. It was also easier to organise, given that the protoplanetary disk where my children were born was already flattened. Even so, you have to be flexible: Some kids require more independence than others. For example, in our case, there are a few of the small ones that break this rule of coplanarity, but they are exceptions."

Although most of Sol's children follow nearly circular orbits, each family is a different universe. "The son of a friend, HD 20782, has a very oblong orbit, almost an open one. It may sound weird, but he is so near his mother that he could not do otherwise, if he wants to survive."

Planets help Sol taking care of asteroids. Credit: theplanets.org

Tip #5: Get assistance from the biggest siblings

Keeping track of everything that is going on with your children may be truly tiresome. Our expert recommends to get as much help as possible. "The big ones are really good at keeping the small ones at bay. In my case, my biggest son, Jupiter, has been a decisive support. If it had not been for him, the rocky planets would not be where they are today, so quietly moving in inner orbits. He and Mars also help babysitting the bodies in the Main Asteroid Belt. Not to mention the asteroids that follow the planets, Jupiter especially, wherever they go. We call them "trojans", affectionately of course."

Tip #6: Give your children some freedom

Every parent knows that all children need to know that they have some decision power. "I let them decide on small things, like the roundness of their orbits, their rotation periods, or even whether they want to have rings or not", Sol explains. This does not have to be restricted to the giant planets. "You see, my daughter Haumea, a nice oval-shaped dwarf planet, insisted she wanted a ring, too, and one ring she has, beautiful indeed."

Haumea, one of Sol's dwarf planets, with her disk. Credit: Tomruen (via Wikimedia Commons)

Another thing they all (planets, dwarf planets and asteroids alike) are mad about is moons. They adopt them from the asteroid groups nearby or, in the case of planets, may form them in their circumplanetary disks."

Still, giving freedom is not the same as saying yes to every whim. It is your role to set the necessary limits. "In the case of Mercury and Venus, I had to explain that having moons so close to me would be a real hazard for them. They eventually understood that they had to choose between being so near to me and raising their own family."

Tip #7: Don't be overprotective

No matter what you do, it is impossible to prevent all your kids from any harm in every moment. Conflict is going to appear, accidents are bound to happen, and you have to be prepared to let your children be, even if you fear that they may be hurt. "Sometimes, like with my comet children, you can warn them about what may be, but at the end of the day it is their decision to follow your advice or not", Sol argues. "You cannot keep them under your wing forever."

After all, it belongs to the cycle of matter in the Universe that things are born and destroyed, and it will be almost impossible to find a star that has not lost any of their children.

Furthermore, a conflict can also turn into an opportunity. "Take my daughter Earth", Sol says. "She had a bad encounter with another sibling, who was about the size of Mars. The crash was so heavy that the other one got completely destroyed. She herself lost part of her mass and has been tilted ever since. But she also got a moon thanks to that, so in the end it was not such a bad outcome."